Foggy is on his way to Melbourne to meet up with the Emerge Australia gang. He can’t wait to see the lovely people who help so many of the ME Community in Australia. While he is away from Foggy HQ, I am busy organising events, doing promotion, and the usual awesome Foggy stuff that he gets me to do 😉
You would think that the success of ME Foggy Dog would make me happy, you may be surprised to learn that I have got a very low mood today. There are a few reasons for this:
- I have many hopes and dreams for ME Foggy Dog, my brain gets excited and makes plans but my M.E weary body puts its foot down and forces me to stop. I have been having a few meetings with talented business people this week and have been swept away by their enthusiasm and support. There will be changes in the future but I have to keep reminding myself that support and encouragement will not help at the coalface. It comes down to just my ME brain and hands to do the work. My own insecurities are holding me back, I think, and I end up beating myself up for having insecurities! Doh.
- I had to fill in a few HMRC income forms today. I realised that, because I can’t work many hours per week (up to 25 hrs), my income for 2017/18 was abysmal. I am not on disability benefit but do get a disability top up with working tax credits. I get very frustrated that I can’t work as hard as I would like. I meet business people who can work 60 hr weeks and their bank accounts reflect that. I work as hard as I can (with rest breaks) but just can’t seem to get my head above water. I am very good at what I do but don’t have the energy or brain power to network regularly/meet fellow business people. I have put so much effort into my business, I have a few plans for the future, but it would be a shame if it had to close. I kind of feel like I don’t have a choice about being self-employed. I personally don’t feel I am sick enough to qualify for PIP because I CAN work a limited number of hours. If I’m not on benefits and I can’t do paid employment because the hours don’t suit my fluctuations then self-employment is the only option….and if that isn’t working out……I’m stuck.