Sally is being weird this week. Her sleep pattern is all over the place. Over the past week, her numbers of hours of sleep at night has gone: 8, 3, 6. 10, 3, 8, to 5 hrs tonight. Crackers! I have told her to write a blog about it…here it is…..
Ugh (translated that means hi),
It is currently 03.28 on Thursday morning.
I had been laying in bed for the past hour or so…WIDE AWAKE but determined to not get up.
Sleep issues are one of the more surprising elements of having M.E. You would think that an illness that is also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), would entail sleeping A LOT or at least sleeping a minimum amount of hours (8 is pretty standard…isn’t it?). However, sleep disturbance and unrefreshing sleep are symptoms of this crazy illness.
Many friends say to me that my sleep issues are the reasons why I am tired all of the time. No, it’s because I have an illness. Sleep problems are just one symptom of it. It wouldn’t matter if I slept like a log for 8 hours, I would still feel unrefreshed and as if I hadn’t slept for even 5 minutes. I am kind of used to functioning on auto-pilot. I’ve had nearly 11 years practice of feeling like a sleep-deprived zombie! Some days, like today, are worse than others. I’ve had a week of really topsy-turvy sleep and so my head and body haven’t a clue what they are supposed to be doing!
Like ‘normal people’, I have stuff on my mind. That additional stress has added to my sleep problems but isn’t the main cause. ‘Normal life’ just adds to the usual rubbish.
Sleep issues for M.E peeps are wide-ranging. Some people do sleep, and sleep, and sleep….endlessly and unrefreshingly (Fatigue is probably added to by medication for pain and other symptoms). Others have the same kind of pattern as me. Whatever the pattern, M.E means that even though we feel like we could sleep forever, many of us can’t.
It was Mental Health Awareness Day this week, I am open about the fact that I have PTSD and depression. I don’t believe it is anything to be ashamed of but appreciate that many feel the stigma. It made me remember what my GP said when he prescribed me Fluoxetine for depression. I was worried that the side-effect of ‘may cause fatigue’ would make my M.E fatigue even worse. He said (paraphrasing) ‘would you rather have suicidal thoughts or be a bit more sleepy?’. Good point! Since taking the drug, I have found that I feel more tired but like he said, I guess I have to weigh up the pros and cons. You would think that taking a drug that causes fatigue would mean I would sleep more…nope! If only! If anything, it has thrown my sleep pattern out of whack, my body doesn’t seem to know when it is supposed to be awake or asleep.
Since doing CBT 10 years ago, I stick to regular bedtimes. I am, 95% of the time, in bed ready to go to sleep at 10.15pm. I’m usually asleep within about half an hour. My problem is that I simply can’t stay asleep and have a habit of waking up at 3am. On the rare occasion that I find myself up and about at 11pm, I am excited! It’s like being in a another world! Oooh, so this is what ‘normal’ people do post 10pm?! WOW! I usually feel like a bit of a rebel for daring to be awake past my bedtime. My life is so rock and roll!
and Foggy OBVIOUSLY xxxx